You mock us, yet I feel sad for you …


A message to my beautiful Christian friends,

We all know that God is Love, it’s that simple, however we seem to have trouble understanding this, not because it is difficult to grasp, but because as humans we over complicate everything.

As Christians we believe “God is Love”, and Jesus is “the Way, the Truth & the Life”, which means He is leading us to love like God, if we follow Him, He will lead the Way, to that Love, which is the Light, the truth.

Jesus not only teaches us what that LOVE IS, He also reveals what the darkness IS, and how to overcome it, and remain in Him. We have the 10 Commandments which describe Sin, and then we have Jesus instruction on how to overcome.

The Way (Follow Jesus teaching and instruction), the Truth (The Bible), the Life (love, peace, joy, kindness, forgiveness, mercy, healing, wisdom, discernment, caring, sharing, all the fruits and gifts of Love (God). There are many, many, many more, use your imagination, anything Noble, Holy, Just, you continue, Heaven … I could go on and on, but as Christians we all know this, right?

So let’s look at what the Truth isn’t, hate, darkness, gossip, slander, mockery, pride, disrespect, ill judgement, neglect, back biting, again, use your imagination, anything that is hurtful, hateful, anti-love, anti-Christ, it does not lead to light, it leads to darkness, the wrong way, it hurts you more than you will ever know.

When we break the Commandments what are we told to do? Confess our sins one to another, repent, pray for forgiveness & Trust that we are forgiven, cleansed through the blood of Christ, and made righteous through Him, not because we deserve, but because that is who He is. He never leaves us, or forsakes us, He loves and journeys with us, in spite of who we are, continuously leading us to the Father.

We are told confess (tell the truth), repent (change your ways) seek forgiveness (acknowledging short fall & trusting Fathers cleansing of sin) and continue following Jesus learning and growing constanstly, it’s a way of life, not a one day event. We are a work in progress.

We all sin, it’s just in different forms, and we all have obstacles and hurdles to overcome, as we are unique, and so is our journey, that is why we are to fellowship, journey together, love each other, helping to teach us to love more, getting closer and closer to Holy, Godly Love, living in pure peace, that this world cannot understand.

Dont be a pretend Christian, saying all the right things, but when it matters most that you behave like a Disciple of Christ, you act no better than the fallen in this world, seriously, wake up.

Christians who live a truthful life, confessing their sins, sharing their journey in truth, and their interactions with Christ, and the amazing love and forgiveness of the father, and how great is His Mercy, live the Way Jesus has taught. They are humble creatures accepting they are no better, and no worse, they don’t judge, their honest about their dealings, and accept people will either like you, or hate you, it’s their call. But I would rather be hated over Truth, than a lie, but to see Christians hate, that is so sad. Choose Love.

The ones who speak eloquently of Jesus, know Scripture word for word, but then sit higher than thou, scoffing, making a mockery, feeling superior, and not because they are better, and pure, but because they are scared, scared of anyone knowing their faults, they don’t want to be judged, the way they judge. They look down their noses at anyone who confesses their Sins, in truth, in line with the the Gospel, because they hide their shame, their guilt, would rather die in darkness, than live in the truth and light.

No one is Perfect, only Christ, can you look at your life and honestly say, there is nothing that can be held against me? I have confessed all my Sins? Or, do you hide them, never revealing them, condemned by our own shame?

I truly love and respect people who not only “talk the talk” but also “walk the walk”. When I watch Christians mock someone for exactly living by example, I do not distance myself from the one they mocked, I hang my head, sighing, another Christian being a hypocrite, I find more shame in that behaviour, then a Sinner confessing in Truth, where others could learn through that truth, relate to their plight, and witness Gods Glory in their life.

To Christian mockers, you know who you are, it is you that is in darkness, not the Sinner confessing a shortfall, we all have them. If you say you don’t, then you lie, lol, which is a sin, lol.

Wake up, stop acting like a self righteous Christian and actually become a righteous Christian, through Christ, and just as you tell everyone else, confess, repent, seek forgiveness, you don’t fool anyone, you just shame yourself, and that is sad.

God says confess your sins to one another, repent, seek forgiveness and heal. The prayers of a righteous man are powerful and effective.

It is self righteous to laugh, mock and condemn, when someone is doing it Gods Way, your mocking God, work it out, do the math, you are dishonouring God, when you mock those who are doing it His Way, He sees all, He knows all, He knows who you are. You may hide behind your mask in this world, but you know better than thinking God doesn’t know the Truth, He is the Truth.

Wake up and start being honest with yourselves, and do a 180 turn, admire those who live His Way, and walk away from those who can’t be bothered putting in the hard yards and therefore prefer to sit back and mock and pretend, shame on you.

I pray God watch over Bless and protect all His Disciples from the darkness hidden in Christianity.

I pray you expose the darkness, not to harm them, but to awaken them that they are spiritually asleep and harming themselves.

I pray the Holy Spirit shine His let on every Scripture so it may be not just read in truth, but also lived in it.

I pray that we all find and experience the true light of your love, so that none may be fooled or deceived.

There is nothing funny or uplifting about Christians mocking or attacking each other, please forgive us all.

The one doing the attacking are the ones who seem to need love and forgiveness the most, it’s such a shame, they truly do not grasp how wonderful your love truly is.

Forgive us all.

Following Jesus is not a game, it’s the Way to live life, in love, in freedom.

God Bless



Time took its toll …

It’s been such a long time since anything robbed me of my sleep, but a series of unfortunate events has led to this 4.00am deep reflection on Society and how we are failing in this world. I’m guessing the chain of events started in the 50s and/or 60s, when Elvis Presley first shook his pelvis on Television, and the world was outraged, “sinful” they said, “the start of Societies downfall” the public outraged, and they may be right.

At the time I was just a little girl myself and couldn’t understand what all the fuss was about, but time took its toll, and now, 50 years later, I get it. Maybe these “old fuddy duddies” weren’t so over the top, and actually held wisdom beyond their years, because what started off with Elvis shaking his groove thing, has ended this week in a very unfortunate viewing for a six year old seeing a grown mans genitals in a movie, and that is so wrong, everything has gone too far and gotten out of hand.

My heart is so heavy because unintentionally I became the bad guy, even though my intentions were pure and innocent at the time, through what is so evident now, I destroyed a child’s innocent eyes.

I didn’t grow up with television or movies, so it’s not a great part of my entertainment. The television is on when the family is here, otherwise I always have the radio on, playing 60s and 70s music. I didn’t see a t.v. until I was 10, and I wasn’t a huge fan of movies because my very first experience was Bambi and I remember leaving the movie theatre with my Foster mother, very distraught, what a tragic movie. So visual entertainment has never been big on my list.

When I do watch tv it’s the News, Doco’s, Comedies and Romantic Comedies, that’s about my limit, nice, easy, entertainment, but other than that, it’s music, it’s all about the music. So, as you can imagine I haven’t got a clue who “the Stars” are, what films are popular, who won what award, it all goes straight over my head. My favourite movie at the moment is Moana, a kids movie, so you can see, I would be the last person you would want on your side in a Trivia Game, I would definitely let the team down, to say the least.

Movies are so cheap to buy now, it wouldn’t surprise me if most households had a hundred or so lying around the house, and in this house, I think we have every child movie you could desire to have. The adults in this house don’t mind sitting around watching movies with the kids, that way we get to see what they are seeing, and are aware of what is influencing their minds, as I am extremely protective over children’s innocence, and keep them from anything that would rob them of that.

A couple of weeks ago my son and his family went away for the weekend, it’s the way we do holidays around here, they get to go away and I get the house to myself. Normally, Once the family has gone, I lock up the house and do not open the house again until they return. To me this is the greatest holiday ever, peace, quiet and all the time in the world to do my own thing, even if that is nothing, it’s a good nothing. I do not answer the door, the phone or mail, it’s my time that I use to shut out worldly distractions.

Now, under no circumstances, do I open the door, people can knock until their knuckles bleed as far as I am concerned, this is my alone time, my personal time. I use it to relax, reflect, rejuvenate, and spend time with my beautiful, precious Jesus. But this particular weekend I broke my own rule, and at the time, I just knew somehow this was going to come back to bite me, because I didn’t listen to the voice that said “don’t open the door” and that was the start of my downfall, I opened the door, and Satan come on in, wow.

It was the neighbours kids knocking, wanting to borrow some movies, they knew that the family had gone away but I was at home. They are the same ages as my grand children, and are my grand children’s best friends. The boy was persistent, kept knocking, knocking and knocking, would not go away because he knew I was here, so I caved in and opened the door.

The children told me they were bored and wanted to come in and choose some movies to borrow. I said “no” they couldn’t come inside, firstly because I don’t believe in kids hanging around adults when the kids aren’t there, unless of course your baby sitting them, and secondly, I had been smoking inside, so no kid gets inside what so ever, but I said I would go and grab some videos.

I grabbed 2 or 3 movies, movies that I knew were awesome kids movies, gave them to them, and then sent them on their way, jobs done, it’s all good. However, the next day they came back returning the DVDs, requesting again, to come inside and choose some movies. Again I said no to coming inside and went and grabbed them some more movies, five in total this time.

I couldn’t find all the new movies because the kids took them for the grand kids to watch, so I went through the entertainment unit, scavenging through what was left. I kept away from all obvious adult movies, and stuck to the kids movies as you do for kids. I hadn’t seen any of the movies so went purely by the covers, and they were all fun, kid friendly covers, good stars like Adam Sandler, what could go wrong, I gave them 5 movies and again sent them on their way.

When the kids returned from being away I told them what had happened, and mentioned a couple of the movie titles of which my DIL responded that one of them was an adult movie, and my heart nearly stopped dead, Nooooooooo. It was an Adam Sandler movie called the Cobbler, or something like that. I just thought it was a Pinnochio kind of spin, but it turns out it’s not for kids, nothing bad, just not a kid kind of thing, slow, long, etc., the stuff kids don’t like.

The next morning I saw the mother and explained that I didn’t know what the movies were, and thought they were kids movies. I told her to check them and not to let them watch the Cobbler one because I had found out it was an adults movie. We both had a good laugh and I thought that was the end of it.

Anyway, for just over a week now, I have noticed their family acting strange towards me, not very friendly at all, but just thought nothing has happened and if they have something against me, they should speak to me about it, otherwise I’m not fussed, strange people.

Last night the boy came to our house and spoke to my DIL, apparently one of the movies was real, REAL adult movie, with nude content, a dirty comedy, called “bad grandpa”, or something like that. I actually thought it was a movie made from a kids show called “uncle grandpa”, but no, they were two totally different things. The cover was fun and kid looking, so nothing in me put up warning bells that something wasn’t right.

So it turns out, this poor little six year old got to witness things she should not have had to. My DIL asked “who was watching the movie with her”, and apparently no one was, she was watching it alone, oh no. A string of ignorant parents has now led to a child watching a movie that was not fit for children.

My mind raced with so many things at first, Why is the cover of the movie so kid friendly, appealing? Why was it kept in the same spot as the kids movies? Why didn’t the mother check the movies after I had spoken to her about that? Why wasn’t somebody watching the movie with her? Where was her mum, her sister, her brother?

But at the end of the day, I’m guessing that’s why the family is treating me strangely now and are blaming me for how this all came about. I’m not fussed what they think, because reality is we all played an ignorant part in this fiasco, so what they think of me, I do not care. What I do care about though, is my part. I can’t be held responsible for the role others played, but I am responsible for my part, I bent my own rule, which was don’t open the door, and ignored my intuition that something was not right.

I feel absolutely terrible that this happened to this innocent little girl, and just through one dvd, how as a Society we failed her. Fifty years ago National Geographic was sold in paper bags and hidden under beds from children, Elvis shocked the world by shaking his hips and the word “bloody hell” was enough to get you one soaped up mouth.

I have spent majority of my life protecting children from adult issues, to ignorantly end up being the one that exposed a child to the very thing I protect them from, wow, big failure on my part. I would be so devastated if someone did that to my grand babies, so my heart hurts for the little girl.

Anway, it’s now 7.42am and time to get the kids up and ready for the last day of school, before holidays begin, I just wanted to share how pure intentions can go very, very wrong, when coupled with ignorance.

Elvis, the old fuddy duddies were right, it has opened the flood gates for a perverted and promiscuous world, innocence has been lost! and ignorance is compounding the problem.

Have an amazing week, and remember, a split second lapse in judgement can cost a child dearly, we need to always be mindful.

11.00am Update – I spoke to the mother 😱😱😱

and apologised for the error in judgment of which she decided to inform me it wasn’t one but a couple 😳😳😳

I won’t make that error again because I do not intend on lending movies out again 🤕🤕🤕

She also stated that the child didn’t see much, she walked away when she realised it was rude 👼👼👼

Now I have new thoughts, how/why does someone condemn further, and then, show mercy, in the same breath? 🤔🤔🤔

This family has given me much to reflect on this week 😂😂😂

God Bless





Gone from having nothing, to having it all …


This time 3 years ago I was at the lowest that my life could ever get, I had lost everything, family, friends, stability, security, love, peace, it didn’t matter in which direction I looked everything was barren, gone, I was on my own with Jesus, and that was all I had.

Nothing in my life was working, there was nothing I could do to change my circumstances, as it was dictated by outside influences, and for the first time in my life I felt powerless and that my life was out of my hands, and I felt so lost.

I had to pack up and leave my family, and cut off the last remaining friends I had because I had some very hateful people willing to harm my loved ones, and hurt them, just to get to me, and sometimes you have to sacrifice whatever it takes to protect those that you love, even if that means leaving and so I did what I had to do, I left.

If Jesus can die on the Cross for His loved ones, for me, for my family, for us all, the least I could was to leave to protect them.

That was the day I completely broke down, driving away, knowing I wasn’t coming back, and it was the only place on Earth that I wanted to be, my light went out that day, I felt the darkness completely engulf me, my hope was shattered, my heart was so grieved and empty, my life was spiralling down, and I was down and out for the count, my stalkers had completely destroyed my life.

My greatest pain turned out to be my greatest Blessing though, because all that was left was me and Jesus, and there was nothing I could do to help myself, I gave it all to Him and just focused on Him, it was all I could do, was keep trusting the only presence that had been with me all my life, my sweet Jesus.

Following Jesus is easy when life is on track and your living in sync, in love, harmony with Him, but what happens when your world is ripped from under you, and your no longer in harmony, in sync, in love? you stick to Jesus like glue, you live by Faith alone, trusting Jesus is leading the Way and in control.

I have always walked with Jesus but looking back I can see that there was a part of me that I had not given over to Him, and that was the part He wanted the most, was allowing Him the process of refining and maturing my Faith into deeper levels of spirituality. I had grown up in every way, physically, mentally, emotionally, like we all do with age, but my spirit had remained that of a child, innocent, naive, childish, and with a heart for Christ, but nothing ever happened in life that would give cause for my spirit to have to awaken, learn, grow and mature, or to know that I even needed to, until the light disappeared, and death came calling.

I felt so devastated, helpless, but in Jesus I had Hope, Faith, Trust, and even though I could no longer feel in sync with Him, because now I live a life trapped in fear, clinging to every memory of what Jesus had done in my past to remind me, don’t give up, remember the Blessings, the Miracles, remember the Love, but the longer the PTSD took it’s toll, the more the memories faded, time can be harsh when your trapped in it. I no longer remembered who I am.

Everyone around me had become a trigger, any negativity would set off a panic attack and I was now living in a small town where negativity is a way of life, bored, lonely people who are negative about everything in life, people with two faces, the type that smile at your face and talk behind your back. This beautiful world I grew up in was gone, nothing but darkness and hostility surrounds me now.

Panic attacks had become a daily occurrence and the only peace I could find was when I was at home, alone, with no interaction with the outside world, so for 3 whole years I remained there. Meanwhile, I’m still dealing with my stalkers, every now and again they would slip up and I would see the signs that there still stalking me, I am convinced they wanted me dead.

They would steal my mail, cancel my insurance, hang around outside where I live knowing I would be filled with fear that they had found me again. I found someone using my phone account to download from, and then top up the credits so I wouldn’t know, so I know they hacked my phones. I have known they were there all along, destroying my life, wanting me dead, pushing me to want to suicide, so you can imagine, I had my hands full as they kept me focused on the fear, so terrified of them all, trapped and alone.

Only this time Jesus said “do not run, stand your ground”, and I stayed, never knowing when they would show up to finally kill me, every day terrified that they were out there, every night, terrified of the nightmares that now haunt my sleeping hours. All I had was knowing Jesus is real, and whether I live or die, that’s up to Him, I was on a dark, lonely and terrifying part of my journey, feeling cold and abandoned, not by Jesus, abandoned by this world, it hated me, it hated my very existence.

This time last year was when they nearly got their way, but that was also the turning point where Jesus and I became in sync again, in love, I felt His Presence, and suddenly the light came on, and in an instant, my memories came flooding back, only this time, it’s not dark memories, but the light, Jesus saved my soul, matured my spirit and set me free when He came to me in a dream.

That night I felt I couldn’t go on anymore, forgave my abusers, and completely, with no missing pieces, only broken pieces, gave everything to Christ, and He completely gave me Himself, His Love, His Peace, His Comfort, and I no longer felt bound to the dark side, but rather free, liberated, alive again, in sync with Christ again.

There was nothing I could do to help myself, and no one in this life to turn to or talk to, tell what is going on, all I had was Jesus, and through it all, I rediscovered Jesus heart and spirit all over again, He was all I ever did need, and I feel the oneness, the newness, to the depths of my very existence, and when I had nothing, my Saviour gave me everything, all through a mustard seed of Faith, just as He promised.

I love Jesus so much, and I just want everyone to know Him like I do, even greater. His love is so wide, so deep, so strong, so immeasurable it has to be shared, it cannot be contained, it eternally flows.

I can see within myself how His strength was made perfect through my weakness, where He nurtured my life and growth. He took my childlike Faith and matured it through the hardships, torture and pain, maturing me as a woman of Faith.

I don’t even have ill feeling towards my abusers anymore, because if they had not done to me, what they did, Jesus wouldn’t have been able to take me on the most amazing journey of my life. I’m still in a process and on a journey, because as long as we have breathe, we are on a continual journey here, learning and growing through life’s experiences, and had I not fallen to the depths of hell, I would have never understood the heights of Heaven, and the true greatness of His Love for us, and Power over everything.

I am so grateful that that part of my journey is over and so thankful that it happened. Without enduring the pain, I would not have rediscovered myself through Christ, fresh and new, hopefully a lot wiser, not so naive anymore, lol.

Trust me, remaining spiritually a babe will run havoc in your life, allow Jesus to mature your Faith, it’s the greatest Gift you could give yourself, is to give yourself to Jesus, and it’s not just a nice cliche, it’s the most amazing Way of Life, perfect, warts n all (imperfections).

I pray that we all take Jesus for His Word, trust, follow, have Faith, because He not only leads us to greener pastures, but He pours upon us the riches of Heaven for our Blessings. His heart is for us, and I pray we awaken to the Holy Spirits promptings, and give Him the reign over our lives. Jesus isn’t true to His Word, He is the Word, and all we need to do is give Him permission to show us In which Way to go, and follow.

We need to ask ourselves, what piece of myself am I withholding from Jesus? Give Him that piece, and He will fill it with His peace. God is so good ✝❤️

How amazing is Jesus, I get to trade my trash for His treasure, and in His eyes, it’s an even trade, wow, His love is amazing, I just adore Him so much 😍

May your journey be Blessed, your life be Loving, and your walk be with Him 😇

I love you all, take care my sweet friends.

God Bless


Let’s Get Real …

Not all Christians love, just the same as not all Muslims hate, there is good and bad in everything, let’s not forget that.

Let’s not stereotype everyone because thats when we rob people of their God given right to be wonderfully unique, loved by God for who they are, and Free Will to choose what is right for them.

God is Love … Love is kind, tolerant, patient, compassionate, merciful, generous, liberating, and most of all, it is free, and freeing, no strings attached, unconditional, Agape … A Gift from God.

As Christians we are to be Ambassadors for Christ, loving His Way, and in that way, all will see Christ living and shining in our lives. People will look at us and be in awe, not at us, but in the fact they can see, and get to know, the character of God through us.

They won’t have to sit around confused about who Jesus is, they will see Him living and loving through us, til we all look like mini Jesus’s, that’s when the body of Christ is working in Unity, and God’s Glory on Earth is reflecting Gods Glory in Heaven, when we live in His Love, His Way.

I have been watching a Christian Preacher, who has been preaching for 40 years, now I know that, because that is what he claims gives him authority over everybody on who Christ is, and the rules to get to Heaven. His rules are based on his understanding, but not based on the reality of the character of God, and I watch him do so much damage, in the Name of Jesus, and He does not care who he spews hate on, insults or abuses, it’s like watching a train wreck, you don’t want to see it, but for some reason you can’t look away, jaw dropping to say the least.

When posting Scripture he sounds awesome, wise words, good Christian man, but as soon as he freely expresses himself about the Kingdom of God, without Scripture, apparently everyone that disagrees with him, is going to hell, but if you agree with him, you get a thumbs up, lol, some people. So you clearly see he has no intimate relationship with Jesus, because he has no idea what true love is. He believes it to be his way or no way, and that is conditional love, Jesus is unconditional.

He claims to have the Holy Spirit Authority living in him, yet their is no Holy Spirit fruit within him, so his words don’t match his actions, and that is so disappointing because many will meet this man, and what should have been an encounter with the Holy Spirit becomes a hostile exchange with a hateful preacher, so a Golden opportunity is missed, not because the person wasn’t ready to meet with Jesus, but because Jesus representative blocked the encounter through pride, arrogance and ignorance.

So I don’t look at this Preacher and admire his heart and love for people, like Jesus, I look at him and feel sorry for him, and the many he insults and degrades, and all in the Name of Christ. He will never get to know the deep, hidden truths of Gods Kingdom, because his heart is not following Christ, his ego is, and his pride stops him from knowing the truth, a blind Christian, and boy does it show. His actions make a mockery of the very God he says he loves, and that is a shame.

I’ll give him one thing, he’s not prejudice, I have even witnessed him telling Christians they are going to hell if the don’t repent and do things his way, lol, so at least he is consistent in condemning everyone, there’s no favouritism there, lol 😂

I found this comment on his site, and it actually speaks for itself what kind of preacher he is, and believe me, this is one of the tamer, nicer posts I’ve seen …

“Australia always seem to be a weak country afraid to upset Muslims. Muslims must accept Anglo Saxon Law is supreme”.

First thing is, he is not Australian and yet he speaks as if he is, authoritative, again, he assumes so much.

Secondly, Australia is built up and made of Multi-Culturalism, and Muslims part of that mix, and are welcome too, we don’t discriminate because of their religion, it’s called freedom to choose.

Thirdly, not all Muslims are terrorists or hateful, just as not all Christians are loving and kind, there’s good and bad in every religion, even Christianity, and this Preacher proves that.

Fourthly, we are not weak because we let them live here with freedom to practise the religion of their choice, we are strong, and confident, in the fact that we have a long history of building a country, made up of citizens from all over the world, where we are all Australian. We don’t always get it right, but we work hard to ensure all are guaranteed their freedom, and fight for those whose freedoms are threatened.

Note: In saying that, we still have much to learn because we have 1250 refugees, that have been stuck in detention centres for years, left in Limbo, and that is not good, but that is a separate issue at this point.

Fifthly, this world is fighting Isis because they are hate filled dictators, forcing all to live their way, and the world screams for freedom, tolerance, free from Christian persecution, and so the world should be outrage by this threatening of our freedoms, and yet, this preacher is preaching no different.

He may not be calling to kill all who don’t think like him, but he does condemn them to hell, and he’s trying to take Muslims freedom by saying they must admit Anglo Saxon are superior, so tell me, how is that different. Isis is forceful and aggressive in action to enforce their ways (physical death) whilst this preacher is forceful and passive in action (verbally abusive and spiritual death), but at the end of the day, Isis and the preacher are saying the same thing, just from different sides, seriously.

Just from one small sentence he posted he told us so much about him, not Jesus, no wonder Christs body is in a mess, and this world doesn’t think much of Christians, we do it to ourselves by being hypocrites, we don’t look loving and authoritative in Christ, we look foolish, hateful and condemning, we confuse the rest of the world.

I love watching human nature, and how this world interacts, but some days it just leaves me scratching my head, and this is one of those days, lol.

In Order to be effective witnesses for Christ, and to make a difference in this world, we must get intimate with Jesus and build a personal relationship with him, it is then that we are effective, through love and life, and our personal walk with Him.

Jesus softens our hearts and teaches us how to truly love and live in peace, but when we carry on like raving lunatics, it reveals our corrupted state, not Jesus heart and purity.

Lets be good and faithful servants of the Lord, honouring him by doing everything His Way, life is so sweet, so precious, so beautiful, when Jesus is in it 😇

I pray we all Get Real … I pray we all Let go, and Let God.

Less of me & more of Him, what a beautiful affirmation to live by.

God Bless


Dear Hacker/s, thank you

Dear Hacker/s,

How are you? Well I hope!

I know I don’t need to tell you how I’m going, you’ve hacked my phone and social accounts that I know of, only God knows what else you’ve gotten into, but anyway, saves me time having to catch you up, because you already know what’s going on in my life.

Now the reason I don’t know if you are one person or a group is because I found two IP addresses on Facebook and tracked them both to the same location, so you are one person with many devices, or two people who know each other, only you know that though, right?

I must admit for many years your tracking me, bullying and intimidating me nearly drove me to suicide, this time last year I was so terrified of you, so petrified, frozen in fear, alone and frightened for my life, I just wanted to die, and you nearly got what you wanted.

I was contemplating suicide because I felt it was the only way left to protect my family from you, maybe if I’m dead, you’ll leave them alone, I thought at the time, but because of your actions I got to witness how twisted my perception had become based on the terror I was living because of you, you had me believing no one was more powerful than you, and you had become a terrifying monster, a demon I could not escape.

You must be so excited right now, knowing you almost succeeded, pushing me over the edge, wanting to take my own life, but wait, there’s more, it gets better …

The darkest night of my soul was this time last year. I laid on my bed, lifeless, believing I will never be free of you, but then Jesus came, and I have never been the same since! He freed me from you, He broke the chains you had me bound in, fear, terror, hopelessness, etc..

Because of your evil acts, and because I forgave you that night, I have had Jesus profound peace upon me Since then, and I am not scared of you anymore, I know I was wrong in letting you become a giant I could not rid, but that night Jesus reminded me in an instant, you are no match for Him.

He knows what you are doing, my job is to stay strong in Him, that’s it, He’ll do the rest, He is with me, and I am free. Jesus corrected my perception, comforted me whilst I forgave you for what you are doing, and me for seeing you as stronger than Jesus, causing confusion in my Faith, and He gave me clarity through His love, and strength to not give up, or give into you.

My life matters, regardless of what you think or believe. I am precious to Jesus, and that’s all that matters, that He loves me, protects me, comforts me, guides me, teaches me, heals me, and is with me.

Ive since moved and changed my number, again, and only a couple of weeks ago I find that you have found me again, unbelievable.

You have done this to me for a lot of years now, aren’t you bored yet, because I am, lol.

But here is the amazing part, I am at peace, even though I know you’ve hacked me again, I don’t care. Don’t panic, I’m not going to the police, they do nothing, lol, but I love how I don’t fear you anymore, I just feel sorry for you, what a pathetic way to have to live, stalking someone.

But truth be told, I owe you so many thank you’s. Because of you Jesus took me on the most powerful, spiritual journey that wouldn’t have happened, had you not torment me so much.

Sure I ended up with PTSD through it all, but I learnt about the depths of pain and suffering victims go through. I endured the discrimination and isolation people with mental health issues have to put up with. I learnt what it’s like to end up Homeless with no one to turn to. I learnt a wrong way and right way to fight, and the reality is, the only way is to trust Jesus, take Him at His word, because He speaks truth, and I love Him so much. He took every ounce of pain and suffering you afflicted to break me, and ruin me, and turned it into the most amazing love and forgiveness I have experienced in my life. It was awesome, to say the least.

I have witnessed Heaven through Jesus and I fear you not. You can kill my physical body, but that is all you can do, I am in Jesus Hands, not yours, so thank you for helping me to obtain His profound peace over my life, you have done a great service for the Lord, He took your evil ways to teach me His Ways, and for that, I am Blessed.

Your fate is between you and Jesus, so watch your step. You can go too far, He healed me because He knew what was going on, and I cried out to Him from the pits of hell that you dragged me through! and He reached down, and lifted me up, set me free from your playground, he’ll itself, and raised me to Heaven, healing my very existence.

So you will need to answer to an authority that you cannot deceive or manipulate, because it is not of this world, you will answer to your maker, so quit whilst your ahead, repent and go away, in peace.

You’ve gone from being scarey demons I could not conquer or escape, to out of control children behaving badly in my perception, I do not care, just go away.

I still believe you to be dangerous, because to do this to someone shows no love, but rather obsession, and that is dangerous, please get yourself help, seek counselling.

I love you, I forgive you, now go away, lol, seriously get a hobby or something, anything, but not me.

I pray you wake up and get on with your life, seek love, seek peace, seek God’s Will for your life, use your hacking skills for good, not harm, wake up.

But again, thank you, I witnessed Heaven, when you tried to drag me to Hell, and that is priceless, thank you.

God Bless


Do As I Say, Not As I Do …

I learnt at a very young age at how hypocritical this world can be as I often heard quoted from many parents “Do as I say, Not as I do”, however, surely times must have changed, they have to have, that was 45 years ago, I’m sure we must have evolved and learnt over time that in order to teach our children right from wrong, we must live by example so that they may grow having learnt what is acceptable and what isn’t. Even as a child, I knew how wrong that statement was, but I was powerless to speak back because the follow up statement was always “Children should be seen, and Not heard”, wow, what a horrid combination to be taught by.

I grew up always knowing that that was so wrong, and I would never do that to my children, that crap stops with me, and my generation, future generations will be taught to “Practise what you preach” and “Lead by example”.

Children don’t just learn from our Words, what we say, but they mimic our behaviour. We are all our children know about the world, and are like sponges absorbing every detail, learning, mimicking, becoming mini me’s of the people that teach them.

What are we teaching them? This is where parents need to be honest and get real with themselves, and honestly look at what will these precious bundles of joy grow up to be, based on how we are moulding and shaping their character.

My 5 year old grand daughter had her first year of school last year, and learnt much about acceptable behaviour. Miss 5 didn’t get invited to a Birthday party and came home so upset, her best friend was invited and said Miss 5 wasn’t because nobody liked her, so instantly Miss 5 needed to learn the truth.

We explained to her how she won’t be invited to every party in life, and that’s okay, be happy for the ones that were invited and just know, you’ll be invited to other parties, and you’ll be excited and forget about the ones she wasn’t invited to, she won’t even remember them, there’ll be too many beautiful memories from the ones she attended.

We also explained to Miss 5 that it wasn’t true that nobody liked her and we named all her friends. We told her that when her best friend likes her one day, and hates her the next, that is not being a true friend. A true friend loves you at all times. We told her in life she will come across people that don’t like her, want to be mean to her, but you know what, you love them, you forgive them when they act silly or mean, and we love them because that is who we are, loving people, we don’t hate because they hate. Always act in love, treat everyone with respect, regardless of how they treat you.

Mind you, it is a Work In Progress, they didn’t receive instant revelation, but the more us as adults, keep reinforcing this way of behaviour, and live by example, so they may see what we are saying, the greater this behaviour will become a natural part of their character and they won’t struggle with these issues later in adult life, when it is much harder to unlearn, and then relearn, that is why if we love our children, we will train them up in which way to go, then when they walk alone as young adults, they will know right from wrong, and walk in the Way.

School in Australia started back on Tuesday, and Miss 5, who is now Miss 6, has already been invited to her first party of the year, and as irony would have it, her best friend did not get invited. Miss 6 came in from school yesterday, handed me the invitation without much enthusiasm, of which I would have expected greater excitement, but really didn’t think much of it, but looking back now, I get it.

Miss 6’s mother came home from work, not her usual jolly self, so I started probing, how was your day? etc, because I could see in her face something wasn’t right. My DIL explains that whilst at work she got an angry text from Miss 6s best friends mother, going off about Miss 6, so my DIL didn’t respond because she didn’t know how to and wanted to wait until she got home to tackle it as a family, so we read the text and could not believe it, it was strange and bizarre, wt???

So we asked Miss 6 about what happened, and nothing happened, she got the invitation, they were excited, she asked her best friend did she get one, she said no, and didn’t want to play with Miss 6, so she ran off and played with her other friends, so we’re baffled, why did we receive this nasty, angry text from this mother.

So still not knowing how to respond, and not wanting to further any hostility, we’re doing our heads in on how to respond, we are just shocked about what is going on. A couple of minutes later, yep, here it is, another text, even angrier than the previous, you could see this woman was angry and she wanted us to yell at Miss 6, and agree she had done something wrong.

So, we call Miss 6 back and now we are Not asking about what happened between Miss 6 and her best friend, but what happened between Miss 6 and her best friends mother, and there it is, the answer.

Miss 6 informs us that the mother works volunteer in the class, so we asked, did the mother say anything to her, and she said yes. The mother told her when she gets party invitations to keep it to herself, to keep it a secret, so it turned out that the mother was angry and hurt because her daughter didn’t get an invitation, and turns out she doesn’t get many, so the mother was hurt because it was another party her daughter didn’t get invited to, and she was angry with Miss 6 for being happy and mentioning she got invited because “kids, including her daughter, were upset”.

That happened at 8.45am, and we worked out she would have had a go at Miss 6 about 11am, and she was still texting us at 7.30pm, not happy, unless she knew Miss 6 was told off and in trouble, which has put us in a tight spot, because we will not be disciplining Miss 6 at all, she didn’t do anything wrong, this parent is wrong and acting like a 6 year old, and because of her hurt and anger she can’t see that, and to top that off, she wants Miss 6 to be disciplined, because she has focused all her hurt and anger toward a 6 year old.

We told Miss 6 that she did nothing wrong, and it was okay to be excited, and no, she doesn’t need to keep it a secret, but reinforced not to rub it in with others, not that she did.

Seriously, as parents, what do we teach our children?

If you don’t like something about what happened to you as a child, don’t inflict it on your children, change it, set them free from the generational burden that is not theirs to bare, lighten their load. Be the change for them, a living, breathing example to follow.

As parents, the most important job we have is moulding healthy, loving, functional children to become all that they can be when they reach adulthood. It is important to me that I know when my grand children are out in the world, they are contributing to society in a loving and respectful manner, life will be so amazing for them, for they will know true love.

We are not perfect, but I pray we always strive to constantly learn and grow ourselves so we may be better parents, and teach our children the best that life has to offer.

God Bless



Loving what I see …

I love adversity, it’s when the true character of a person is revealed.

It’s easy for everyone to be loving and kind when they are in a good mood, but once that dynamic changes and the waters start to get rough, that’s when you watch human nature reveal itself in it’s true form. Once people are challenged, instead of remaining loving and peaceful, that’s when the Human Will takes over & suddenly it’s a war.

The most beautiful and amazing people are the ones that remain loving and kind no matter what is going on, & they remain level headed.

These people just blow me away & I fill with awe when I see them, because I know I am witnessing a being that has been enlightened, and that is so beautiful, so inspirational, your heart just explodes with joy, to see such a beautiful being, and to witness such a pure heart.

Someone who has conquered all forms of self, and now walk in the Spirit, wow. I live to witness these moments, “on Earth, As it is in Heaven”, walking, breathing, loving, living examples of the Holy Spirit living through someone. As I said “Heaven on Earth”.

The other day when this Christian and I exchanged words, as she was disgusted by my use of Jesus pictures, and convinced I am going to hell for it, lol, it’s been awesome to watch Twitter and how it has changed.

This Christian came back at me again, and again I told her we need to agree, to disagree, but that was not satisfactory for her. It was like dealing with one of my grand-children, just couldn’t be told, had to have it their way, can’t let it go, just going on and on.

Anyway, she sent me a Tweet with two Jesus pics quoting Exodus 20:4, so I went to Exodus and read what she was on about, and instantly could see it was out of context, and their was a lack of understanding, so I let her know it was out of context.

But just like my grand-children, just kept going, so I did what I do with my grand-children, give them my full attention and I started seeking answers, because if they are being angry and irrational, I know their judgement and views can’t be trusted, because they are reacting to something, so if your going to come and give me a hard time, it better be based on Truth, not perception or mis-guided views.

So I went back to the Christians site & scrolled right through her feed, and yep, there it was, Jesus pics on her feed, that she had re-tweeted from another follower. I must have overlooked it the first time I looked, because I really wasn’t that interested, I just wanted to see who this person was, and why they are going off at me. But when she kept going, the second time I looked, I looked intently, and found it, but didn’t say anything, but just knew, you need to stop, you are being hypoctrical, but I kept my tongue for the moment.

Had this woman just let it go, and do as I suggested which was “agree, to disagree”, it could have ended in Peace, but she was not satisfied until she would change me, break me, whatever her agenda was, and her unwillingness to let it go, turned on her, and that was sad.

She came at me with the Old Testament, forgetting about Jesus and His Commands, and unintentionally, the outcome became an Old Testament solution, an eye for an eye, rather than a New Testament Jesus solution, to overlook an offense, Love covers a multitude of sins. In the end, when it had just gotten beyond the joke, I let her know about the Jesus Pic on her feed, and instantly, the Tweeting stopped, as I knew it would, because instantly she would know that actually pointed out the Hypocrisy of her rant.

Just like my grand-children, I call them on something, and instantly their is silence. But at least with my grand-children, we sit and talk after that, calmly, and they listen, and I explain where they took a wrong turn, and they get it, and move on, and they receive a character adjustment, a correction, but they know I’m not being mean, they know I love them and it is important to me, how they grow up, with Integrity, loving, kind, caring and respectful.

But with strangers, they are not my responsibility, it’s their choice if they listen or not.

However, I still like her, and I am not offended by her in any shape or form, but if your going to keep at me, eventually it will come back, sometimes that seems the only way to stop people, remind them of their own shortfalls, just to get them off your back, and to wake them up to the fact that they are being hypocritical, judgemental and angry.

The next morning I woke up & noticed that she had blocked me, and on her Twitter Account it states that if someone unfollows she unfollows back, so be it, she blocked so I blocked back, sometimes people need to think about what they say, treat people how you would want to be treated.

So I’m done with it, too much drama, especially coming from a stranger, so it ended Perfectly. But in saying that, if she came back to add me again, I would add her, I don’t hold grudges, or harbour bad feelings (it is what it is, get over it), I didn’t when it happened, and still don’t. I just don’t tolerate tantrums, lol, I’m too old for that crap, and life is too short 🙂

I pray she finds Peace and Revelation. I truly believe that if she let’s go of her pride, and goes deeper in her understanding, she will one day become the powerful witness that she tries and desires to be, but you can see she has work to do, just like all of us, but I truly hope that she doesn’t let what happened harden her heart further, but rather be a divine appointment with Jesus, to teach her and show her how to mature in her dealings with others.

So, I know her heart was in the right place, I can see she thought she was doing God’s work, saving my soul, so I know she did what she thought was right, I just pray she grows in wisdom & discernment, and learns to approach others in a more loving and compassionate way, it would have not back fired then, and possibly a gorgeous friendship could have been born, but sometimes things are meant to be, it’s just a learning step along the Way.

Now, I am more intrigued watching others on Twitter reacting to what happened between the two of us, nothing has been said, but you can see it in how the Tweets have changed, God I love human nature, never a dull moment, lol.

On the Plus side, I have met some amazing Christians who are the real deal, and I love watching their Tweets, and their interactions with others, they are awesome.

I’m loving life, it’s Perfect Warts n All, I’m finding myself all over again, and it is the Greatest Blessing 🙂

Love you all.

God Bless,


Stop condemning me to hell, it’s boring

I have been preoccupied by Twitter lately, and I am seeing that it has been of great benefit for me to do so. I love watching human nature, observing people, watching what they are like in the good, loving moments, and then witnessing the contrast that comes when the interactions aren’t so loving, and times get tough, and wow, what I have witnessed, is mind blowing to say the least.

Christians on Twitter are amazing, what you can learn from just observing them is very powerful, both in a good and a bad way.

When Christians are in a loving mood the Tweets are all about Jesus, love, loving one another, loving our enemies, forgiveness, tolerance, acceptance, prayers, faith, fellowship, all the fruits and gifts of the Holy Spirit, and you can’t help but be inspired, uplifted, it all sounds so Perfect, so wonderful.

They quote Bible versus how to deal with anger, frustration, hate, grief, guilt, differences, all the sins of the flesh and how to overcome, and again, how wonderful, guidance on how to deal with the fleshly self and live in the fruits, and it shows truly what the Christian life is about and what following Jesus represents, means, and through all this, we are to be shining lights in a darkened world, leading to Christ.

Jesus even has examples that if a brother should offend or sin against you, you go to them and deal with it in private, then should they keep offending or sinning against you, go to your elders. Also, how Blessed it is to overlook an offense. We all get it, we know exactly what we should do, in every circumstance, turn to Jesus, and let Him lead the way.

So, in love, all the messages are Godly, all Biblical, all amazing examples of the Christian Way of Life, living from the Heart, just as Jesus did.

But what happens when a Christian takes offense at you, that’s where it gets interesting. Suddenly everything they tweet in love goes out the window, and they revert to their fleshly ways. Suddenly they don’t follow Jesus, but rather what they believe they should do, and instantly you can see, this Christian talks the talk, but does not walk the walk.

First sign of shaken ground and they revert to what Jesus tells us not to do, instead of showing that they really know their stuff, through the good and the bad, and truly know what they are talking about, they end up being empty words, with no substance what so ever.

I woke up this morning to a beautiful tweet from a Christian, it was a cartoon of a girl on a swing, with the quote “I will Praise the Lord all my Life”, so I returned a Tweet with a picture of Jesus quoting the Lord’s Prayer, and wow, how the dynamic changed.

Within a few minutes of me sending that tweet to this Christian then posted a general tweet to everyone (never talking to me, just at me):

Christian: Those who refuse my warning about using fake pics of Jesus & using them as a graven image God is speaking thr me. U will answer 1 day.

Me: Hey my sweet friend XXXXXXXXXX Just wondering what u mean by this, as I use Jesus pics all the time, so looking 2 clarify what you meant 🙂

Christian: I’ve tried 2 warn. U think I just blowing smoke but u will c the real smoke 1 day Disobeying.

Me: Please don’t talk in riddles at me & curse me behind my back. If you have something to say to me, I am approachable, let’s chat …

Christian: When u don’t listen to the warnings from God then u r dismissing me and think nothing of me and disrespect me. I don’t lie on God!

Christian: Saints u better wake up! God ain’t playing! Some won’t take correction! God sees all! judgement is coming! U better learn 2 b humble!

Christian: I see why pastors and Jeremiah get and got frustrated! So prideful ppl that won’t obey God’s commandments. If u love Him u will obey Him!

Christian: I’m going to bed. I’m tired of warning and pleading ppl to stop using graven fake pics of Jesus! Stubborn ppl. God called them stiffneck!

(Well now I’m intrigued, so I checked all this Christians tweets and found that she did not have one image of Jesus on her feed, and considering I had just sent her a Jesus pic, I knew who she was angry at, me, it didn’t take rocket science to figure that one out.)

Me: I may not agree with what you say, so we may have to agree to disagree & that’s okay, but do it in LOVE, not anger or frustration …

Me: If you are angry or frustrated, take it to Jesus, Im not responsible for your reactions to me, but I do care about you & that you have Peace

End Conversation …

First thing is, I didn’t know this Christian, they followed me and I followed them back. I have never heard that Christian warn anybody before, and instead of coming to me and telling me, the Christian generalises the tweets, in full knowing that they are directed at me, and they know that I know.

Secondly, I may only have 700 followers, and they may have 70,000, but that means nothing, that does not make me less than, nor make that Christian my authority in God, wow, that is really overstepping boundaries, to think that I must live by what they say, no I follow Jesus, and His instructions.

Reading this Christians tweets I saw self-righteousness, anger, hypocrisy, and I’m sure if I really thought about it, I could name a few more fleshly sins spraying out of this Christians bizarre tweets. The true colours show when the going gets tough, and I was just gob smacked at this Christians behaviour. It was like suddenly the Bible was thrown out of the window because it only suited her when she is loving. Suddenly it became about her, her warnings, her authority, not Jesus, wow, wow, wow.

These Christians I do not respect, I love them, I can see they have good hearts when the going is good, but I do not respect they’re hypocrisy when the going gets tough. They are not living examples of Jesus and His Ways, but rather a living example of their own ways, and it shows greatly.

Now, had that Christian approached me, I still would have stood by what I did. I am not going to be condemned by God for loving Jesus and admiring all artwork of Him.

God created art, He loves beauty, so it is this Christians belief that using images of Jesus is a sin, it is not, it is pure love and admiration for the one we seek and follow. It is dreaming of the face we will one day look into the very eyes of, imagining the love, the beauty, and it is Heavenly.

I have New Age Followers, I have Buddhists, I have business followers, I have Christian followers, I have Muslim followers, and I cannot please them all, I would end up a wreck trying to, so I do what comes from my heart, and all my friends on Twitter receive my love for Jesus through my tweets, through my character, my personality, and not one of my non-Christian friends has ever complained that I send Jesus images, and yet I would expect them to be the first to complain, but they are respectful of the fact that if they don’t like it they can unfollow me, otherwise that is who I am, that is me, but to be condemned by a CHRISTIAN for using Jesus image, wow, the world has gone mad.

I have more respect for the Non-believers that respect my Faith, than Christians that feel that they have the right to condemn me, and claim to be my authority.

The Bible states: walk in love, follow Jesus, forgive offenses, love all, including your enemies. It says do not judge, it says that just because someone finds something offensive doesn’t make it offensive, it’s the person judging that believes it be offensive, so her thoughts make it impure, but it doesn’t mean that it was, it came from a pure heart with pure intentions, so how is it wrong? It’s not.

Seriously, I can find so much wrong with the above exchange it’s not funny, and instead of what could have been an open minded form of communication and understanding, turned into one Christian condemning another, and being self-righteous about it, getting upset that I don’t accept their authority or their view.

I follow Jesus, and I fellowship with all, but somehow some Christians have taken the fact the you follow them on Twitter, to mean that it’s all about them, as you are their follower, they suddenly seem to forget who it truly is about, Jesus.

I pray for this Christian, I pray they wake up and go deeper into their understanding, and through Faith, they FOLLOW Jesus and learn what it truly means to be a Disciple of Christ. The first hint is a simple one, Let all that you do, be done in love. So the first question we need to ask ourselves when we are interacting, are we doing it through love? and if the answer is no, then we need to turn to Jesus in Prayer, and seek answers for ourselves, and if it is done through love, then it wouldn’t turn into a self-righteous exchange, but rather a loving and wise interaction.

More people would be Christians if more Christians became more like Jesus. It’s Christians that give Jesus a bad name, and yet we are supposed to be Ambassadors of Him and His heart, living by example, revealing to all what a beautiful, spiritual way to live, worth more than Gold.

I pray Jesus shines through us, as we learn to become more of Him, and less of Us.

The world is looking for Jesus, not us, we should be pointing to Him, not to condemnation, that is sheer foolishness.

Maybe this Christian might get a shock when they meet Jesus, and instead of Jesus saying “well done, you gave my wrath to so many, condemned them and turned them away from me, they were impure”, maybe He just might say “through your self-righteousness you turned many away from me, they never got to know me, yet I loved them, I longed for them, but they could not get past you and your self-righteousness, you did not follow me at all, so many were lost”, and would you see one tear run down his face for every lost soul that never found Jesus, how many tears would fall, how many souls would His heart break for. Suddenly, how would you feel standing in front of Jesus, and instead of Him smiling because of the way you lived, rather crying, saddened by the way you lived.

Would you then expect the same love, understanding and forgiveness from Jesus, that you would not show on Earth to the ones that Jesus loved.

Before we condemn anyone, we really should question our own path, and walk in the Lord.

Had this Christian read my blog she would have known that I had been sexually abused by a Reverend and then told I was going to hell for telling someone about it, and that caused me a lot of years living with PTSD in a spirit battle, and had I not worked through my issues with Jesus, that could have caused a lot of triggers, torment and harm, but I have learnt, no one on Earth has a say over my final destination, that is between me and God, and if God loves me, who are you to say that He’ll cast me into hell.

This Christian needs to re-read their own tweets, and take it as good advice for self, I pray for her, that was a bad example of what it means to follow Jesus. But through it all, I love seeing how far Jesus has brought me, that it doesn’t mean anything to me, but what it is, is just a Christian going off their head, and revealing what not to do in Christ.

I must say, I was amused by it, it was like talking to a bratty child throwing a tanty, and I love how that Christian gave me the opportunity to see how far I have come in my recovery, and that is priceless.

Anyway, in the Bible God says never go to bed angry, it’s a sin, and she did. I’m sorry I caused her to sin, lol. I pray she awakens in Peace, and wakes up to her duality, it’s a shame. She has such a huge following and that could make her a powerful witness for Christ, she let herself down.

Let’s hope she awakens in a better mood and decides to have forgiveness in her heart for me, we can only pray 🙂

I love that I am able to share my journey with you all, it’s such a Blessing to have you there, and never once have I been made to feel bad on here, rather always welcomed. It goes to show the difference between Twitter and it’s 140 characters and WordPress, you don’t really get to no anyone on Twitter, where as here, we grow a community of love, sharing and fellowship, and it just doesn’t get any better than that.

Have an amazing week.

God Bless,


The video below has nothing to do with the tweets, I just wanted to share it, it is absolutely amazing and worth watching, but if you are sensitive to Jesus Pics being used, please look away now 🙂





Profoundly Peaceful …

Hello my sweet friends, I’m back 🙂

It’s been a strange couple of weeks, where anything that could go wrong, did.

I didn’t have a computer, phone got cut off, internet slowed to a trickle, two cars needed repairing, my Landlord lied to me, my son started a new job that doesn’t seem to pay, my son and his partner were fighting over finances (they are terrible budgeters and trying to teach them does my head in, lol), the grand babies all got the flu, the 1 year old baby was rushed to hospital because she had convulsions due to her temperature, the heater in the house broke and my sons Landlord doesn’t seem to think that it is a problem if we are freezing everyday which made the babies sick, my mum’s not happy, she’s feeling neglected because I haven’t been home for about 3 months now, and in her eyes, I should put her first, not my children, and it goes on and on and on, anything and everything that could go wrong, did.

In spite of all of this, I seemed to have a profound peace about me, nothing rocked my boat. I just kept reminding the kids, you know all our lives we have been in positions where we didn’t know how we were going to cope or get through, but something always, always, happens, in Perfect Timing which sorts everything out, just wait for it. It was all I could do, was keep reminding them, we have been here before, and we have always been provided for, Jesus has never let us down.

We started calling to mind all of the times where we had no options, and every time, how everything fell into place, and not just what we needed, but plus some, so I just kept them focused on what is real to us, and that is our needs have always been met, so do not doubt now. Everyday all I was doing was reminding them over and over again, everytime they felt fear, I came back with “don’t, we’ve done this plenty of times, and this is no different, have faith”.

Then, just as expected, everything worked out perfectly, better than we could imagine. We caught up on all the bills, my son’s partners mother had a laptop that was given to her that she never uses, so she gave it to me, the kids are really taking budgeting seriously this time, babies are all well, all is well.

The whole time that this was happening I was on Twitter, just re-tweeting what others tweet day in and day out, and this is where the Profound Peace came in. Twitter was Perfect Timing. It’s funny how the internet was too slow to get on anything, except Twitter, it was like Jesus made sure I had enough flow to re-tweet, but no flow to be able to do anything else, so that I kept my focus on Him.

Over the past few years, because I have been dealing with PTSD for so many years now, I had gotten to a stage where I clung to every past memory of provision from God, constantly reminding myself every day, God has never let me down, He has always come through for me, He will this time to.

But because the Reverend had planted a dark seed that I was going to hell, the internal struggle that I was enduring, I thought the battle was going to kill me. For every memory of God’s provision, the dark seed from the Reverend came, counteracting everything I clung to, believed in, and Peace was nowhere to be found, the dark seeds were so loud, so destructive, and I had to constantly remind myself “I am not forsaken, everything is always in God’s Perfect Timing”, but I was broken, and the seeds were starting to convince me, maybe the Reverend was right, “what have I done that God should turn away from me”, and it was that stupid thinking that created so much trauma within, I had let the negative voices affect me.

I have been completely blown away over the past couple of weeks, it’s like “good old days”, where there are no dark seeds attacking me, so I remember and see clearly “God is good”, He has not changed, He is the same yesterday, today and tomorrow, it is me that changed, and I could not hear Him clearly anymore. But not this time, I have been on Twitter posting Jesus tweet, words of wisdom, day in and day out, and I’m guessing that that is why my peace is beyond understanding. I kept my eye on Jesus, stayed in His Peace, trusting His Provision, and holding Faith that His timing is perfect, and nothing rocked my boat, His Peace He gave me, His Peace sustained me, and not one bad seed got through.

As usual, everything worked out better than expected, like it always has done. Started off two weeks ago not being able to pay the internet bill, and everything going wrong, to two weeks later, and I have internet back, and my own laptop, and everything worked out better than expected.

Everything here became a mess, but Jesus loves messes, that is where He does His best work. I can see how it was Perfect Timing that the internet was slowed down, I couldn’t come on here to write about anything, and all I could do was tweet, which kept me focused on Jesus, and not the problem, and nothing rocked my boat.

I believe that everything had to go wrong, in order for Jesus to pull it apart and put it all back together the way that He seen fit, better than what we could have done, and it’s a bonus that He takes care of our worldly affairs. But the Blessing and treasure is in having His Peace upon me through it all, and I could share that abundance of Peace, with the Household. My DIL commented on how, no matter what happens good or bad, I just am. She is blown away how I don’t react to much and always expect good to come out of everything.

When you live 15 years of your life with everyone calling you everything nasty and negative, and always having a low opinion of you, it is more shocking when people say good things, and at the moment, people from my past who have caught up with me whilst I am at my sons, have all shocked me, I didn’t know that they seen such goodness in me.

(Isn’t funny how Society is always quick and willing to share the negative thoughts they have about you, but don’t say anything when they have good thoughts, so after all these years to be hearing good things about me, I don’t know what to do with that, like I have stated before I am neither good nor bad, I am, just me, but I obviously have become more comfortable with negative feedback, it’s like water off a ducks back to me these days, expected all the same, lol, but tell me something nice, I become speechless, don’t know how to react to that, not comfortable at all. Maybe I just don’t like feedback, good or bad, food for thought …)

Anyway, I could clearly recall all the times that Jesus has gotten us through, no dark seeds hindering my memory recall, I saw how posting Bible verse after Bible verse on Twitter, kept me in His Word, constantly reminding me that it is all about Him.

I seem to have found my passion again, I don’t get discouraged when things go wrong, I get excited, because that is when I get to watch Jesus do His greatest work. But because of the abuse, my passion had turned to dread through the darkness of the PTSD, (and the destructive seeds in the darkness) but now I have Peace, I felt the light, I knew I would be counting many Blessings, I was back to me, the one who always leaves everything up to Jesus, I am back, I feel aligned with Jesus again, I feel healed, I feel whole, I feel a new lease of life, where anything and everything is possible, and I am loving life, warts n all.

I love how I have let go, and am just going with Jesus flow again. I love how anxiety could not cripple me, but rather I was able to just dismiss it as a seed not welcome, and instantly my mind would feel the Peace once I rebuked the negative thought, and reminded myself that Jesus has got this.

I thought after suffering PTSD, and what I went through, I would never have that intimate relationship with Jesus again, it is just a long ago memory. Today I live in celebration that in spite of the PTSD, I still have Jesus Peace, and I live in the knowing, through Him, I live protected by Him, I feel His Presence again, and I am Blissful.

Now, I know, that I will never be fully free from the PTSD, it is part of my life now, and something that needs to be kept in check so as to not get out of control, but I know my God is greater than anything that this world can do to me, and there is nowhere I can go or be, and He can’t find me, help me, mentally, physically, spiritually, heart and soul. He cares about every detail of my life, the big and the small, and He took a shattered, broken soul, and returned the spark to my heart, and life to my soul.

Lately, I catch myself acknowledging how free I feel, and I am basking in the freedom. I didn’t know if it was going to last a day, a month, a year or a lifetime, so I just kept sending tweet after tweet, sharing Jesus, and allowing the love and peace that I felt to flow through, I was taking every advantage of this freedom while it lasted, living in the moment, sharing the abundance of love that I was experiencing, then, if the darkness returns, I don’t mind, I did what I could, and I know I will get through, I am just so grateful to have the free moments, where I can share Jesus in His fullness.

I love this Peace, it’s worth more than gold to a sufferer, and I am so grateful and so Blessed to have it.

I pray you all find the peace that you seek, and I pray it be profound, so that you know, it is supernatural, it is of God 🙂

Looking forward to spending time on here again, catching up on the blogs (there are so many, lol), love you all, I have missed you.

God I love this Gift of Peace, best Gift ever.

God Bless,